I lived my life for my children. I wanted them to have the life that I didn’t get to have growing up. I was looking for something that I wasn’t able to get. I ended up failing all the way around I sometimes wonder was any of it worth it? I lost everything. I continue to lose the more I live. I wonder why I’m still alive now. I cry every day. I have this immense sense of brokenness and sadness because all I wanted was a life filled with love and happiness, and all I got was pain and sadness. I wear a smile on my face but inside 90% of the time I wish I was dead.