What’s something most people don’t know about you?
I walk around with a smile on my face but behind that smile I feel as if my life has been one big disappointment after another I wanted to raise my kids in a good environment taking them on family trips like I experienced as a child what I got was brainwashed by someone who knew I was already vulnerable needing and desiring love to take advantage of me and ruin my children’s lives forever in one way or another.
Some days I think of driving into on coming traffic or taking a bunch of sleeping pills just to stop my pain or to stop thinking that I’ve failed my children even though they are all grown now my pain is still great and I still struggle with it
In music there are some in R&B some in gospel some in reggae some soft country some in Christian some in pop some in soft rock some and country rap some in regular rap all of these have touched my life in different ways there are also artists that have touched my life in movie genres television genres as well as Radio genres and in books they all play a different role and have a different part of my life.
If I was to say my favorite artist someone I could listen to all day every day it would be either a mixture of Kirk Franklin, R. Kelly, Janet Jackson, Tupac Shakur biggie smalls Marvin Sapp, Fantasia, Joe, Chris Brown, Tank, BB and CC Winans, Marvin Winans, The Winans Luther Vandross. There are many others but these are the ones I can listen to nonstop and not ever get tired of listening to them
What would you do if you lost all your possessions?
I have had to start over again so many times because of circumstances and life choices I lost all my stuff but I got back up and started over again got in a bad relationship and that guy was abusive and ripped up all my stuff and scared me in the process so I ended up in a shelter lost all my stuff a second time but what I would do is build myself up again getting my stuff a little by little
I sometimes wonder what happened to society I was reading a post about a person who went into a fast food restaurant to get something to eat not inside through the drive-through and they ordered some nuggets because they had a deal going on you order the 10 or 20 piece and you’ll get it a free fry with it small or large so she got a large and matter fact she got two free large fries with it. She told them the kind of sauces that she wanted for the nuggets and when I’m through the line she paid for it before she got there cause she ordered it online, the app since everything is done by app these days, but as she got through the line paid for her stuff left got home she realized that not only has she not gotten the kind of nuggets that she ordered. She didn’t even get any sauce for the nuggets as she thought about that, she just kept thinking how society is always complaining about wages and pay and how people don’t get a living wage and she just kept thinking how the government keeps lifting wages to make life easier but when she needs something and she goes to get simple things like the food that she wants to eat from a simple fast food restaurant Who is now going to be making $15-$20 an hour she can’t even get her order correct even though she’s putting so much time to learn what she’s learned at the job that she does that she hast to get correct or someone’s life could be in danger or someone’s Family could be hurt if she gets it wrong and she thinks about how all of these people don’t take their career and live seriously but they always take their pay seriously but they don’t put in the effort. It is when it comes time to go towards that future, they just want society to feel sorry for them and give them a leg up And then she wanders why are we as a society OK with that? Why are we always so willing to give give give instead of challenging people to do better with their self and their goals in life when will we start letting them know that if you want better, you need to do better you can’t expect a hand out all the time and still think that you deserve everything that other people have worked really hard for you can’t become an overnight sensation when you’ve only practice one Time, you want become a superstar singer if you only sang in the bathroom, so that record deal will not be coming your way you won’t be the lead cook at a restaurant if your favorite dish is cereal us as a society have got to begin to stand up for the things that we have worked hard for and stop letting people jump in and demand what they have not earned because it’s not fair to each and everyone of us and it’s definitely not OK when we keep getting the wrong stuff for what we paid for that was just an observation. Have a great evening.
I have always wanted to be remembered as someone who helped and made a difference in my families life that I have memories to cherish with my kids, grandkids and great grands along with my brothers and sisters that I was a generous person and I built a legacy that would help not only children grow into productive human beings, but also would build well for generations to come so that my family would have a family business that was surrounded by mental health, togetherness the village concept of raising children, and the connectedness of having one generation after another know each other, and be together. This is not what I see in my family society, and the world at large, my fear is that we will become a technological society and forget what it feels like to have that connection with each other to where we understand how each other thinks how each other is dependent on one another and able to function in this world so that you understand subliminal messages you understand the simple things I decide I you understand when you’re talking too much you understand when you go out to eat, you don’t act a monkey These things are important attributes of human life and it is so important for me to be able to be there to show my grandchildren and great grands how to be great human beings. These are my fears of the future because so much time has been lost, and it seems this new thought of being a working person has taken the place of being a family unit People don’t understand how important family is and what family brings you that kind of stability. Love care, unconditional love, especially when it’s your own child so this is my goal is for the future because no matter what happens in my life I know in my heart, that I will always have the love of my brothers and sisters, my nieces and nephews, because at the end of the day, we literally grew up together and I wouldn’t ever abandon them for any reason or my children no matter what they do, even if they’re hardhead as hell I still with it because I was taught better. Thank God for a mother, who prayed and still does.
Join the family would love to have you thanks for reading
One thing I do not spend a lot of time on is self-care and time meditating for myself I spend a lot of time wondering where I should have went right when I went wrong instead of doing self evaluation’s and healing I think I would do better spending my time on self-care and self healing, and not worrying about the little hurdles that come toward me that I know, I have no power over that they are there for a reason and not to make a mountain out of a mole hill because some people are just broken and it is not my responsibility to fix them. I have to work on me and once I’m done working on me the right vibes and intensity and person will enter my life who matches my vibe, and since I know that I have to focus on what brings me peace and happiness and exit out of anything that takes away my peace and my happiness so that I stay on track and I move forward with my best life so these are things that I’ve learned and that I am working on every day sometimes I fall down but I always get back up. It might not be quick, but it is getting faster and faster.
If you had to give up one word that you use regularly, what would it be?
I have several conversations with a certain person during the day and as I am talking to this person, I am always saying in my mind. In my thoughts when I walk away this person is so stupid. Why do they think like this? That was stupid this is stupid. Why do they act so stupid? Why is there behavior so stupid Why do I put up with this stupid Ness of this person every other word out of my mouth when dealing with this person is always the word stupid coming out of my mouth or a certain instances coming out of my mouth about this person makes me think that I am becoming stupid from dealing with them and I keep thinking that you are a product of the company that you keep so I always try to rephrase my thoughts and cautioned myself to put a cap on what I’m about to say or do so that I do not let that word stupid come out of my mouth because I know the more that I said the more I am bringing that back into my life so that is the one word there are others, but that is the main word that I really am working on getting rid of out of my thoughts out of my mouth and out of my heart when it comes to things that happen during my daily routine.
Spirituality is very important to me because God is life.
God has made my life worthwhile and worth living things haven’t always been easy but with him by my side, I’ve been able to get through a lot and not go over the deep end. I’ve had some very traumatic events in my life. I didn’t know what was coming next or what to do, but my faith and my belief kept me going. There’s so much more I could say, but I want him with this God is everything..
What place in the world do you never want to visit? Why?
The reason I’m not interested in visiting Moscow is they do not value the freedom of their people nor the individual rights of others and I’m afraid that they would infringe on my independence if I was to visit there
I’m going home in a few weeks I haven’t been back there in 5 years and I’m excited to go it’s one of those things where I know I’m going to be around people like me and I will have time to feel like myself and have people who love me for me and the excitement is overwhelming. While at the same time I feel a sadness that I’m leaving my stuff here with someone who doesn’t cherish the things that I cherish not knowing if the things that I love will be here when I get back because of his arrogance and I don’t care attitude even though I know I wouldn’t do that to him he would do that to me and I feel angry and scared all at the same time because these are the things that I didn’t want to lose that I’ve taken with me everywhere that I went. I am very happy to be going around people that celebrate each other where I won’t have to see another birthday alone this year and I will be able to visit friends who like having people over just so many things to do that make life worthwhile I can’t wait to go most of all to get away from here and be in a good happy environment for once without someone who is pessimistic about everything and never has a kind word to say about anyone especially women because he’s bitter and narcissistic on the Covert side due to lack of nurturing I no longer take the blame for that or even care life is to short to live unhappy with someone who is supposed to love me but puts me last at every turn I’m worth more than green that’s just my name anyway happy Juneteenth
The struggle is now not forever 