I can only change my self

What is the last thing you learned?

No matter what life brings or throws at me I cannot put myself in the place of someone else. I can only change myself I can take a life throws at me, and either take the punches and cry, or learn from them and move on, and make different choices and change from what Those choices have brought me. I cannot expect the person who threw those packages to change no matter what I do because they are who they are and they are set in their stance and I just have to accept that and be OK with moving on with my life and be happy with who I am because I know that I am not the problem because of everyone that has been in that person‘s life has also love everyone else cannot be the problem so if that person will not look at themselves, they are meant to be alone and I have to accept that and be OK with moving on and buy my own happiness, so that is what I have learned here recently because I am not meant to be unhappy in an abusive, manipulative and unhappy relationship with someone who cannot appreciate me, so I will find my own happiness.

Happy 2023

This year started out pretty slow. I wanted to be up to bring in the new year next to the man I wanted to spend the year with so as I was sitting there and the hours were passing by I decided to get up and go into the den to try to be next to him to watch whatever he was watching on TV and when I got to the door, he stopped me. And said, what are you doing? I said I’m coming in here with you so that we can bring in the year together. He said it’s not midnight, so go back and do whatever you was doing. I shouldn’t have let that bother me, but for some reason it did, and I decided to go lay down and get back up at midnight. I didn’t wake back up until around four in the morning. I had missed everything. I was so disappointed in myself and that fact. It started to paste of the new year letting me know this was going to be another lonely year, and I hate that fact that at least I’ve made some friends that I am going to capitalize on so even if I won’t be spending time with him, I will be spending time with them. Happy New Year y’all

My daughter’s birthday

Today my youngest child turned 23. I am very happy that she has lived a whole Nother year. I am very proud of her and glad that she has done such a great job at surviving this long. I pray that the next year will be a great adventure for her full of great blessings and gifts, and welcome to potential that she will see nothing but goodness and treasure coming her way she is a blessing to be on this earth, and I love her very much. She makes my life happy and want to be encouraged about. I’m hoping to see her more and contribute to her happiness like my mom contributed to mine happy birthday my beautiful daughter. I love you. Lexys

Take time to love folks

I have been struggling the last few days hating the thought of living with regret I moved from New Jersey when I was younger almost 12 and at that time I was really afraid that I (we) would never see our family that I loved so dearly back there and I would have nightmares about it for years cause I thought I would forget them I never went back out there for many many years. Lost so many loved ones over the past 25 years it’s crazy I don’t want to miss any more time with my family I want an am making plans to see y’all at least 3 times a year. I want my grandkids to meet all of you while they are little so that they can grow up loving their family I voted and I’m starting a new diet regimen let y’all know what comes of it

My sisters birthday

This is my last week here in California today is my sister‘s birthday happy birthday Lynette I hope you had a fantastic birthday I have completely enjoyed myself being able to get out and about travel around see things in California that are going on around here and riding the bus and train everywhere I will enjoy my time visiting with my mom my niece I even got to see my nephew Justin while I was out here so I feel good now I’m heading back to Florida it’s been a good day next year will be even better good night. Plus I’ve lost some weight I’ll be on a plane Friday night

Rising cost

Today I went into the store Walmart shout out to Walmart to pick up a few things and I was doing a price check on some eggs because generally when the price isn’t there it must be an astronomical price that they don’t want you to look at just pay when you get to the counter. I asked a Walmart employee what the price was for the eggs and I figured the price that was there was incorrect because I had never seen eggs cost almost $16. The employee came over to me and he told me that the price was correct so I asked him what was the price of the pack that was right below that 60 pack of eggs and he went on to tell me that I should blame the Biden administration for the price of the eggs I sat there and I thought why would I blame Biden for eggs why not blame you. Because your salary is $15.09 an hour so prices would have to go up in order to pay your salary why would I blame the government when it would be a wiser deduction to stay at home and blame what’s right here if I’m going to lay blame. But I let him go on and talk without uttering a word. He said there are all these people in office but none of them know how to run a country as if he was someone who knew about how to run a whole government or knew anything above a checkers profession it baffled me and it also made me think people are so quick to put blame on others instead of taking responsibility for their own actions I for one am guilty of that myself I am learning every day how to take accountability for what I do and not put the blame on others that is the right way to be. I don’t blame the president for the Senate or the House of Representatives they get the blame for their own actions. What President Biden and Vice President Harris does they take responsibility for no one else and I would not add to their plate by being arrogant or unjustly blaming them for stuff that is not their fault they might not be strong but they are also not weak and I support them. Enjoy the rest of your day happy Thursday!!!

A day missed

I was so active yesterday that I didn’t realize how much that was going to effect my body today I usually have the same routine. But when I get up this morning I was so tired that I couldn’t function or move so I kept saying a few more minutes that turned into a few hours and missed appointments.

I still ended up going food shopping but was even more exhausted after that been trying to get my spring cleaning done but it’s like this house has never ending work to do and it is really overwhelming I don’t want to give up though just wish I had friends to join in it would be different but I don’t have someone like that. Anyway happy Wednesday

Monday workout 🏋️‍♀️ day

I’m trying to be consistent with my workout 🏋️‍♂️ at the YMCA for at least 3 times a week for 30 minutes it’s not always easy for me because I feel so much pain all the time in my body. I often feel like giving up and wishing to die I had a death 💀 wish for some years which made life easy to live because nothing mattered so if I did something that caused me to leave here I would be at peace ✌🏾 finally. For some reason God would not let me go no matter how much of a dear devil 😈 I tried to be it’s so true when they say favor ain’t fair and God takes care of His own.

There have been so many times when things should have went so differently and didn’t just because it was me involved in it. I remember my pastor/Uncle Tyrone telling a story in church about being on a plain and there being some turbulence and he saying the people on that flight were so lucky because he was on it and that meant everyone was going to be fine because God takes care of His own and they were. He went on to let us know we all have that kind of power due to our relationship with God it changed my life and my way of thinking 💭 that day. I never saw God the same again or my way of thinking 🤔 about Him and this world 🌍.

I know our minds are very powerful and so are our words add action to that and we can change the world 🗺 our relationships and the way people see us. Right now I’m working on changing my body image and how I feel about myself and how I live my life the best way I live it. Happy Monday

First day of spring break

What I plan to do for spring break is organize plan and make new provisions for this house and hang out with friends it will be a relaxing time for me and a time to replenish rethink and re-strategize while thinking of new ways to make money I have a few things in the works but I’m going to continue to look for new ways to add to those things to bring in new streams of income. While still working on my weight and working on my house. 

This rain is relentless it makes the day seem really dreary but it is much needed I just hate having to go out in it because it’s so uncomfortable and I have to jump in the shower a lot in order to keep myself calm and comfortable it’s a real pain happy Friday everyone.

Late night hour

Most nights I don’t sleep I stay up and think and clean when I’m not working I do a lot of soul-searching and trying to figure out how I can get my passion out in the world because I love working with small children my dream is to have little children learning as much as they can before their brains become concrete and they are no longer able to absorb masses of information at an early age which will give them a love for learning for a lifetime. I have always watched from the time my children were little them absorb information so quickly and be in all by how they saw the world and so excited with them and for them to see everything that I had saw through fresh eyes.

When I look at children I know that they are the next great in this world and with the right nourishment and guidance they will become a memorable part of this society and this is why I try to work as hard as I can to encourage that growth and make them be the best that they can be I’m so proud of my own children and the children that I work with even though sometimes they can be difficult and give me a hard timeWhen I look at children I know that they are the next great in this world and with the right nourishment and guidance they will become a memorable part of this society and this is why I try to work as hard as I can to encourage that growth and make them be the best that they can be I’m so proud of my own children and the children that I work with even though sometimes they can be difficult and give me a hard time

I listen to Steve Harvey in the morning when I have time and he always gives the right motivational speech to say if you’re doing something that you love it never feels like a job and that is so true because when I’m working with kids it never feels like a drag or something that I hate doing I really love seeing their faces the joy in their eyes even when they roll their eyes because they see they’re gonna have to do some work with me it’s stillI listen to Steve Harvey in the morning when I have time and he always gives the right motivational speech to say if you’re doing something that you love it never feels like a job and that is so true because when I’m working with kids it never feels like a drag or something that I hate doing I really love seeing their faces the joy in their eyes even when they roll their eyes because they see they’re gonna have to do some work with me it’s still brings me peace in knowing that they will know something more when they leave my classroom and they will have a little bit more respect for themselves and their classmates as well as me for trying to help them be better at whatever it is they need to know. We’re going into spring break and I’m going to use this time to reflect on how I can help them better during this next period of time when I’ll be working with them. Happy break everyone I will be keeping up with my diet while on spring break I have lost even more weight over this time and I am not giving up this is my goal for the year and I will not stop until I reach my goal