It’s different now

How do you celebrate holidays?

When I was growing up, holidays were the best time of year. It was something you look forward to you celebrate it with family and friends doing things being out and about (I am so upset. I had a whole post right here and this phone decided to delete it, and I have to start again, anyway just a little pissed off about it) I loved being out with my sister and brothers or even just shopping alone thinking about them and the things I would do for them for the holidays or the things we were going to do together there were times when I would see something, and we knew each other so well that we knew each other‘s interests And likes and dislikes, so I love whichever way always make us desire to do something special for each other. If it was my mom, she was a human information seeker so I would always get her something like books or something to figure out like puzzles and things like that if it was my sister, she like trinkets and little gadget type things so if I was in a store and I saw like a little Figurine type teddy bear I would pick up a few of those knowing that she would appreciate it. If it was my brothers, they were always into moving parts so it was going to be something like a model car or a game that they had to figure out or a bike to put together, we all knew each other so well because we cared about each others inner workings so we did whatever it took to be a part of each other’s lives if it was a national holiday like the Fourth of July we planned out what to cook we were going to be at a park we were going to have some kind of major Food gathering and we were going to play games and have fun and be with either a bunch of friends, playing baseball or tag or whatever it was. We were all going to be together doing it and join each other laughing and just having a all-around good time for most of the day, and that was the most exhilarating part of life everything made sense even if it was the camaraderie of people around you one year we had been out to Santa Anita mall in California and it was just a few of us on the bus on the way back home, and the bus driver was in such good spirits But he allowed us to jump off the bus grab a Christmas tree and get back on. That was the kind of care that all of us have for each other. The seasons mattered we cooked with each other whether it was my mom doing bread my sister doing something in the kitchen, me baking cookies at the table, my brother sitting over there on the couch with my nieces and nephews, watching some kind a game or a movie

That was outrageously loud and laughing with the kids. My brother has the most infectious laugh that when he lives it trickles down the block and you can just feel people coming because it’s an atmosphere of happiness around holidays were time to get together. Enjoy each other, always think about the next person and have a feeling of connectedness And we were the kind of family that didn’t just bring gifts for our mom. We bought gifts for everyone if we’re coming, we’re going to bring something for everybody so that we all know that we have let you know you matter to us with my own children, the look on their faces when they would come out and see all the stuff under the tree it was like they would be in shock and then watching them dance to whatever new game it was that they were playing singing along to that new Michael Jackson game trying to get the beat right so they didn’t get out was funny in itself it would take me back to going to visit my grandmother and see how my cousin would be so overjoyed to find out that he got the Michael Jackson doll or a vest or shoe or whatever it was memories like that stay with you as life goes on because I no longer have my grandparents but I can still see them in my mind like they’re right here with me. I no longer have some of my cousins, but I can still see them, saying my name and talking to me and laughing and being just as silly as they were back, then and a serious as they were but still loving me all the way through my holidays are not the same now because I didn’t vet well and the person that I’m with doesn’t cherish the things that I cherish or love the things that I love so when my birthday comes I don’t get to do the things that I would do with my family as I grew up I don’t get to do Christmas or New Year’s or Thanksgiving the way that I remember it as I was growing up I don’t get to be there to bury my love ones or see how life is and feel connected the way that I used to feel some choices are regrettable. One thing I have learned, though life is full of change, and you can’t keep doing the same thing expecting a different result, because that is the very definition of insanity and I am not insane. Anyway, my holidays are different now, but they won’t be different forever

like subscribe and post a comment.

Self love is important. I have the love me before anything.

It’s not exactly mine, but

Write about your most epic baking or cooking fail.

I love to cook one of my favorite things to make at holiday time is macaroni and cheese made from scratch. I made some macaroni and cheese for my husband to show him that I knew how to make it and instead of him, just eating it before the festivities start it Around Thanksgiving he decided he was going to turn my masterpiece into one of his resounding concoctions and add it get this some marshmallows to my macaroni and cheese. I was disgusted by it and did not eat any of it. It did not turn out right it reminded me of a kid who is trying to do a experimental product in the kitchen like making, a peanut butter and pickle sandwich or a honey and mustard, peanut butter and jelly sandwich. It did not turn out well at all. After that point, I decided I would not cook for him ever again he complained and complained that I was not doing my womanly duty for him after that, I didn’t care because I felt as if he did not appreciate the things that I was doing for him And my kids were grown and gone and I did not have a reason to be slaving in the kitchen for anyone when I could just eat out or throw something quick together but I now have started trying to get back in the habit of doing cooking for a better purpose not Jess Because I want to eat anyway that is my experience with cooking for a better purpose and my purpose for cooking. That was an epic fail.

Comment like subscribe

Soulfood, Mexican food, Thai food, Italian food, Seafood

What are your favorite types of foods?

I like soul food, because I like the way we put an immense amount of flavor and the way we cook our food as Black people from around the world. I enjoy Hispanic tradition of food. Whether is Americanized or farming, Mexican countries because it has different flavors and it is Different in the way they put their ingredients with it their history and their family secrets in it. I love Thai food because of the way they put fruit to enhance the flavor in their food to make it taste flavorful and have a spice element with a sweetness to it also And I love Italian food because of the authenticity in it with the way they do their noodles, their spaghetti‘s, and most of their pastas whether it’s from scratch or processed it always has a genuine flavor that you can’t only say it came from an Italian restaurant or an Italian country There are several foods that I like, but these are by far my favorites.

Don’t forget to like subscribe and comment. Thank you for reading this post. See you in the next one.

The ones who inspired my life the most growing up from stories

Name the professional athletes you respect the most and why.

The athletes that I drew to marveled by and loved to watch and hear about where Flo Jo Jackie Robinson Muhammad Ali the marvelous Marvin Hagler Joe Louis Jesse Owens you couldn’t get past these names in the different sports because they were the ones who made all the headlines they were so important and so good at what they did that no matter what they were involved in you knew that they were the best and you wanted to be the next one just like them I marveled at them and wanted to be just like them or even better I respected them never knew how hard it was for them until I got older thought they had the best lives not realizing what struggle it was to be them during those times so I have the upmost respect and love for them knowing that not only did they have the fight just to do what they loved but they also persevered made it happen so that someone like me could come forward and do it too so I have much respect for each and everyone of them still do to this day.

I meditate and listen to music

How do you relax?

I’ve never seen and listen to music because it keeps my mind clear and it helps me to focus on myself and feel better about whatever it is that I was going through. I’m focus on my inner self and then when I get up I eat something and do something creative, which make sure that my body is one with the cell on my love y’all so much better

Stupid

If you had to give up one word that you use regularly, what would it be?

I have several conversations with a certain person during the day and as I am talking to this person, I am always saying in my mind. In my thoughts when I walk away this person is so stupid. Why do they think like this? That was stupid this is stupid. Why do they act so stupid? Why is there behavior so stupid Why do I put up with this stupid Ness of this person every other word out of my mouth when dealing with this person is always the word stupid coming out of my mouth or a certain instances coming out of my mouth about this person makes me think that I am becoming stupid from dealing with them and I keep thinking that you are a product of the company that you keep so I always try to rephrase my thoughts and cautioned myself to put a cap on what I’m about to say or do so that I do not let that word stupid come out of my mouth because I know the more that I said the more I am bringing that back into my life so that is the one word there are others, but that is the main word that I really am working on getting rid of out of my thoughts out of my mouth and out of my heart when it comes to things that happen during my daily routine.

My ideal home is full of rooms

What does your ideal home look like?

The first room has large pictures of family history going back to grandparents and great grandparents lots of memorabilia with memories of adventures and get together’s of family, vacations and time spent learning about our history and things that we learned traits that we got from our elders it has Things that were passed down from our family members that was important to them that they wanted us to have so that they can be remembered and have a stake in our future. It has music, rooms and dining room with a record player that actually still plays records it has a long dining room table for Gas to come over and eat and sit down and talk to us about growing up With our parents and cousins and friends, it has TVs and DVD players, CDs and tape cassettes with our family members voices on it from times they were telling stories and let us sit around and talk about things that were important to us even when they didn’t want to hear it, and they would save us it has our school awards and our memory verses our time capsules that we would bury, and years later, the grandkids dug up that we put inside the mantle so that they could see it and remember the fun things we used to do when playing outside, making mud pies it has our bedrooms that has changed over the years to show how our growth and development has sprung up into new adventures to wear now when the grandkids come over and great grands, they see how their stuff has been added to the room so that they know it is their place also it has been modernize with still a playground in the backyard they have a game room, TV room, work room, and a indoor garden so that they can play with it and they can tell their kids how they used to play on those very swings and they’ve been kept up so that when they got old enough they can play with them too it has books on the shelves and different little trinkets that has been there for years that has shown them how they have come from a long line of thinkers and entrepreneurs, who always grow with the times, and how they are expected to do the same, even if they go their own way, they are still expected to achieve in one way or another it has beautiful furniture clean walls and really nice carpet in certain areas and work floors and others. Everybody has a space where they know what to do when they come in the door and how to cook all the utensils are put in a neat and orderly fashion, and it’s always fun around their house because they know that at grandmom’s house they are always welcome so in my house it is always home.

When I accomplish some thing big my meeting my grandchildren for the first time

What brings a tear of joy to your eye?

When my grandchild was born, and I found out that he was healthy and safe that made me the happiest brought tears of joy to my eyes knowing that my daughter was OK and my grandbaby was here and one piece I felt good I felt happy I felt like the world was right.

Because I have something to say

Why do you blog?

I blog because I have something to say and many others can’t say how they really feel out of fear of cancel culture and social media as well as shame.

I speak for black and brown people who are always on the low end of things and don’t know how to catch a break. To let them know someone knows what they’re going through and can relate

While also expressing my own life’s journey triumphs and trials, while going through it to let people know you can make it through and how fun it is to make it through.

Late night

What’s your favorite time of day?

When I’m in my room and I’m able to think about the things I accomplished during the day and I’m able to meditate and bring peace before I go to sleep and think about what my day brought, and how I made it through all of it and then to see what is to come And begin to manifest what is next for the future? It brings me a calm and makes me smile every time before I lay down, take my deep breath and breathe in all the gratitude that I feel for having made it through one more day, knowing that what a have just manifest it is already on the way And I feel happy and grateful right before I go to sleep.