Tag: feelings

I can only change my self

On By L Corelle GreenIn adventure, black family, family, inconsiderate,, making money, narcissist, People, Relationships, self love, Spring break, travel, weight loss journeyLeave a comment

What is the last thing you learned?

No matter what life brings or throws at me I cannot put myself in the place of someone else. I can only change myself I can take a life throws at me, and either take the punches and cry, or learn from them and move on, and make different choices and change from what Those choices have brought me. I cannot expect the person who threw those packages to change no matter what I do because they are who they are and they are set in their stance and I just have to accept that and be OK with moving on with my life and be happy with who I am because I know that I am not the problem because of everyone that has been in that person‘s life has also love everyone else cannot be the problem so if that person will not look at themselves, they are meant to be alone and I have to accept that and be OK with moving on and buy my own happiness, so that is what I have learned here recently because I am not meant to be unhappy in an abusive, manipulative and unhappy relationship with someone who cannot appreciate me, so I will find my own happiness.

Being a servant.

On By L Corelle GreenIn adventure, black family, family, travelLeave a comment

What experiences in life helped you grow the most?

As a child. I was taught. To do as I was told. The always. Listen to those older than me. And not be. Obstinate or. Two verbally aggressive. Always respect my elders. And do. Whatever is necessary. To stay out of the way. In some ways, that was. A promising aspect of my life. But in other ways. It led to obedience. Without. Really taking into account what was going on. Such as? If someone was taking advantage of me. Or. Hurting me. I didn’t know the difference. Between being taken advantage of or. Doing as I was told to be a good girl. I was just. Doing blind obedience. In order to. Be pleasing and not be in the way. This led to a lot of. Unexpected abuse. Because I wanted to be. That. Good person and that obedient person who did not want to be. The one who was considered difficult. Even if it ended up hurting me in the end. I still. Wanted to make sure I did. What? Society would consider the right thing. Even when it seemed and felt like the wrong thing. At the end of the day. I learned a lot from the years experiences. Because. I now know blind obedience. Causes more harm than good. And it doesn’t help anyone. It just makes everyone involved miserable. So it’s always best to ask questions. Get involved in the process. And. When something doesn’t feel right. Stop it. Right then. No matter what. You can always rebound. You can’t go back. So these are the lessons that I have learned. Over time in life. And I’m glad that I’ve learned them

Happy 2023

On By L Corelle GreenIn adventure, black family, family, Happy New Year, holiday season, making money, narcissist, New Year's Eve, People, Relationships, self love, travel, weight loss journeyLeave a comment

This year started out pretty slow. I wanted to be up to bring in the new year next to the man I wanted to spend the year with so as I was sitting there and the hours were passing by I decided to get up and go into the den to try to be next to him to watch whatever he was watching on TV and when I got to the door, he stopped me. And said, what are you doing? I said I’m coming in here with you so that we can bring in the year together. He said it’s not midnight, so go back and do whatever you was doing. I shouldn’t have let that bother me, but for some reason it did, and I decided to go lay down and get back up at midnight. I didn’t wake back up until around four in the morning. I had missed everything. I was so disappointed in myself and that fact. It started to paste of the new year letting me know this was going to be another lonely year, and I hate that fact that at least I’ve made some friends that I am going to capitalize on so even if I won’t be spending time with him, I will be spending time with them. Happy New Year y’all

My daughter’s birthday

On By L Corelle GreenIn adventure, black family, Black Friday, family, Happy birthday, holiday season, making money, My Birthday, People, Relationships, self love, travel, weight loss journeyLeave a comment

Today my youngest child turned 23. I am very happy that she has lived a whole Nother year. I am very proud of her and glad that she has done such a great job at surviving this long. I pray that the next year will be a great adventure for her full of great blessings and gifts, and welcome to potential that she will see nothing but goodness and treasure coming her way she is a blessing to be on this earth, and I love her very much. She makes my life happy and want to be encouraged about. I’m hoping to see her more and contribute to her happiness like my mom contributed to mine happy birthday my beautiful daughter. I love you. Lexys

Take time to love folks

On By L Corelle GreenIn adventure, black family, Black Friday, family, making money, People, Relationships, self love, travel, voting, weight loss journeyLeave a comment

I have been struggling the last few days hating the thought of living with regret I moved from New Jersey when I was younger almost 12 and at that time I was really afraid that I (we) would never see our family that I loved so dearly back there and I would have nightmares about it for years cause I thought I would forget them I never went back out there for many many years. Lost so many loved ones over the past 25 years it’s crazy I don’t want to miss any more time with my family I want an am making plans to see y’all at least 3 times a year. I want my grandkids to meet all of you while they are little so that they can grow up loving their family I voted and I’m starting a new diet regimen let y’all know what comes of it

My sisters birthday

On By L Corelle GreenIn adventure, black family, Black Friday, family, making money, People, Relationships, self love, weight loss journeyLeave a comment

This is my last week here in California today is my sister‘s birthday happy birthday Lynette I hope you had a fantastic birthday I have completely enjoyed myself being able to get out and about travel around see things in California that are going on around here and riding the bus and train everywhere I will enjoy my time visiting with my mom my niece I even got to see my nephew Justin while I was out here so I feel good now I’m heading back to Florida it’s been a good day next year will be even better good night. Plus I’ve lost some weight I’ll be on a plane Friday night

This was the bus

On By L Corelle GreenIn black family, family, inconsiderate,, narcissist, People, Relationships, self love, travelLeave a comment
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This was the bus

I got on the bus this morning and in the front seat where the people with disabilities is supposed to be able to see it were a bunch of teenagers sitting there looking at me giggling and then playing with their phones I looked at them and then I looked at the bus driver they were Hispanic that didn’t matter it was the fact that they saw that I didn’t have the balance that I had a cane and that those feet were obviously for people like me and they didn’t move so I looked at the bus driver she begins to speak in Spanish telling everyone to move back I really couldn’t understand her too well but I caught a little glimpses of what she was saying because I’m rudimentary in Spanish I feel a little dismayed by the whole thing because the driver is supposed to get up and empty those seats when she sees or he and people are not moving I shouldn’t of had to stand that hallway falling all over the place when those seats are there specifically for people like me it was really upsetting.

In California Dreaming

On By L Corelle GreenIn adventure, black family, family, Polyamory relationships, Relationships, self love, travel, weight loss journeyLeave a comment

I have been in California for almost a month now and I have accomplished most of the things I have come to do except for one thing and that’s the most important thing I came to do I’m constantly thinking of different ways to get it done but still have not done it yet. My frustration is overwhelming and I feel like I am close but not there yet. It has been a very productive month but I really need my income to come through that’s my goal and I must lose this weight as well it’s been slow and steady I am working on it every day continuously anyway I met someone who I think is going to be a good match for me also very excited about this person as well keeping positive vibes up to bring in this new person happy Monday

Rising cost

On By L Corelle GreenIn adventure, black family, family, making money, narcissist, Relationships, self love, throwback Thursday, votingLeave a comment

Today I went into the store Walmart shout out to Walmart to pick up a few things and I was doing a price check on some eggs because generally when the price isn’t there it must be an astronomical price that they don’t want you to look at just pay when you get to the counter. I asked a Walmart employee what the price was for the eggs and I figured the price that was there was incorrect because I had never seen eggs cost almost $16. The employee came over to me and he told me that the price was correct so I asked him what was the price of the pack that was right below that 60 pack of eggs and he went on to tell me that I should blame the Biden administration for the price of the eggs I sat there and I thought why would I blame Biden for eggs why not blame you. Because your salary is $15.09 an hour so prices would have to go up in order to pay your salary why would I blame the government when it would be a wiser deduction to stay at home and blame what’s right here if I’m going to lay blame. But I let him go on and talk without uttering a word. He said there are all these people in office but none of them know how to run a country as if he was someone who knew about how to run a whole government or knew anything above a checkers profession it baffled me and it also made me think people are so quick to put blame on others instead of taking responsibility for their own actions I for one am guilty of that myself I am learning every day how to take accountability for what I do and not put the blame on others that is the right way to be. I don’t blame the president for the Senate or the House of Representatives they get the blame for their own actions. What President Biden and Vice President Harris does they take responsibility for no one else and I would not add to their plate by being arrogant or unjustly blaming them for stuff that is not their fault they might not be strong but they are also not weak and I support them. Enjoy the rest of your day happy Thursday!!!

My husband got out of the hospital

On By L Corelle GreenIn abusive partner, black family, family, narcissist, Relationships, self love, travel, weight loss journeyLeave a comment

It had been a week and he was still not doing well when I called 911 for him he had scared me and I wasn’t going to lose him. He was talking crazy but he was alive, I couldn’t put my finger on it and I didn’t know how to cope with it but I knew he wasn’t ready to go home in a short amount of time he was putting his affairs in order telling me what to do and how I would be able to sustain myself after he was gone and that was not rational to me him being in his 40s we have a whole life to live and I kept telling him that but he wasn’t trying to hear me he just kept saying let him go. When they finally got him to a point where he was starting to get of sound mind he began to blame me for keeping him there and that hurt even worse because when I care about somebody their life is the most important thing to me and their survival is paramount to everything else. I would never want anything to happen to him despite his treatment of people or me I still want him around because everybody deserves every chance until that last chance is given now I feel like an outsider because I wanted to check on him and was told they will see if he’s up for company (While staying at a non-immediate family members house) when I’m his wife now I’m a part of everybody else amazing that really hurts when I am the one that got him to the hospital it’s crazy if I’m only the tables were turned.