A day missed

I was so active yesterday that I didn’t realize how much that was going to effect my body today I usually have the same routine. But when I get up this morning I was so tired that I couldn’t function or move so I kept saying a few more minutes that turned into a few hours and missed appointments.

I still ended up going food shopping but was even more exhausted after that been trying to get my spring cleaning done but it’s like this house has never ending work to do and it is really overwhelming I don’t want to give up though just wish I had friends to join in it would be different but I don’t have someone like that. Anyway happy Wednesday

Monday workout 🏋️‍♀️ day

I’m trying to be consistent with my workout 🏋️‍♂️ at the YMCA for at least 3 times a week for 30 minutes it’s not always easy for me because I feel so much pain all the time in my body. I often feel like giving up and wishing to die I had a death 💀 wish for some years which made life easy to live because nothing mattered so if I did something that caused me to leave here I would be at peace ✌🏾 finally. For some reason God would not let me go no matter how much of a dear devil 😈 I tried to be it’s so true when they say favor ain’t fair and God takes care of His own.

There have been so many times when things should have went so differently and didn’t just because it was me involved in it. I remember my pastor/Uncle Tyrone telling a story in church about being on a plain and there being some turbulence and he saying the people on that flight were so lucky because he was on it and that meant everyone was going to be fine because God takes care of His own and they were. He went on to let us know we all have that kind of power due to our relationship with God it changed my life and my way of thinking 💭 that day. I never saw God the same again or my way of thinking 🤔 about Him and this world 🌍.

I know our minds are very powerful and so are our words add action to that and we can change the world 🗺 our relationships and the way people see us. Right now I’m working on changing my body image and how I feel about myself and how I live my life the best way I live it. Happy Monday

First day of spring break

What I plan to do for spring break is organize plan and make new provisions for this house and hang out with friends it will be a relaxing time for me and a time to replenish rethink and re-strategize while thinking of new ways to make money I have a few things in the works but I’m going to continue to look for new ways to add to those things to bring in new streams of income. While still working on my weight and working on my house. 

This rain is relentless it makes the day seem really dreary but it is much needed I just hate having to go out in it because it’s so uncomfortable and I have to jump in the shower a lot in order to keep myself calm and comfortable it’s a real pain happy Friday everyone.

Late night hour

Most nights I don’t sleep I stay up and think and clean when I’m not working I do a lot of soul-searching and trying to figure out how I can get my passion out in the world because I love working with small children my dream is to have little children learning as much as they can before their brains become concrete and they are no longer able to absorb masses of information at an early age which will give them a love for learning for a lifetime. I have always watched from the time my children were little them absorb information so quickly and be in all by how they saw the world and so excited with them and for them to see everything that I had saw through fresh eyes.

When I look at children I know that they are the next great in this world and with the right nourishment and guidance they will become a memorable part of this society and this is why I try to work as hard as I can to encourage that growth and make them be the best that they can be I’m so proud of my own children and the children that I work with even though sometimes they can be difficult and give me a hard timeWhen I look at children I know that they are the next great in this world and with the right nourishment and guidance they will become a memorable part of this society and this is why I try to work as hard as I can to encourage that growth and make them be the best that they can be I’m so proud of my own children and the children that I work with even though sometimes they can be difficult and give me a hard time

I listen to Steve Harvey in the morning when I have time and he always gives the right motivational speech to say if you’re doing something that you love it never feels like a job and that is so true because when I’m working with kids it never feels like a drag or something that I hate doing I really love seeing their faces the joy in their eyes even when they roll their eyes because they see they’re gonna have to do some work with me it’s stillI listen to Steve Harvey in the morning when I have time and he always gives the right motivational speech to say if you’re doing something that you love it never feels like a job and that is so true because when I’m working with kids it never feels like a drag or something that I hate doing I really love seeing their faces the joy in their eyes even when they roll their eyes because they see they’re gonna have to do some work with me it’s still brings me peace in knowing that they will know something more when they leave my classroom and they will have a little bit more respect for themselves and their classmates as well as me for trying to help them be better at whatever it is they need to know. We’re going into spring break and I’m going to use this time to reflect on how I can help them better during this next period of time when I’ll be working with them. Happy break everyone I will be keeping up with my diet while on spring break I have lost even more weight over this time and I am not giving up this is my goal for the year and I will not stop until I reach my goal

A piece of paper

I had to take a long ride with my husband to advocate for him out of town but for me it was a time to get away with someone I love ❤️ and also help him convey how he is doing on a daily basis like I always do. Instead of this being a relaxing time it became an interrogation of all the things he feels I have done wrong because of his belief that he should have many relationships but not let those people know he has a wife or mate and I feel that’s wrong because he is taking their right to choose away because he can not comment to any of them so I feel like he is using them and he gets angry 😡 with me and denys me the things I desire.

He told me on this trip we are only married on paper he is not really married to me and as I thought 💭 about that and all that I have done for him it really hurt 😔 my feelings that he could be that disrespectful to me but then again what did I expect from a person that uses and disrespects women all the time in (including his own sisters) the first place can’t blame anyone but myself. Happy Saturday the last one in February! Happy Black History month

Long term love that’s real

This week on the 25th marked my one year anniversary being married to my husband Làron and you know what we did nothing because he has said that I don’t follow him which is not true I knew not to be with someone like him in the first place but my loving heart told me to try to make it work now I’m with a person who never celebrates me or takes in the things that I feel are important and has an explosive argumentative personality that no matter what I say he always say the opposite and honestly I’m really tired of it I want my peace back where I can have my hope and watch things work out for me in my face with out his hate speech because nothing works out for him because of what he spews out of his mouth all the time Anyway I am in the process of making new friends that are like minded so that I can have people to celebrate and who will celebrate me it seems to be working and I’m good with it.

I’ve lost 22 pounds yay

I have been on this weight loss journey since last year Nov and have not given up well I’ve been on it for years without success so I talked to my doctor about my frustrations and he helped me so ñow I have been dropping pounds consistently and I am very happy about that I’m still looking for my workout partners who will be my companions as well anyway we have almost made it through January already I can see this is going to be a great year and I am very excited about it work is going well and I’m finding like-minded friends that I’m looking to build with this year is helping me see me and I’m loving it Happy Wednesday

A hard day but good one

Today when I got to where I was going for work I ended up changing classrooms today and even though I ended up working with the same students that I worked with a couple days ago I still had to raise my voice a few times because it’s like a natural instinct for kids to be more rambunctious with a substitute teacher I’ve noticed that pattern because kids seem to think that because you’re subbing for them they can do whatever they want because you’re there for a limited time but one thing I think these students learned for the last few days is that if you want someone to give you time and attention you need to give them that respect of quietness when they are dealing with you so today and then on a good note and I feel more confident about it anyway happy throwback Thursday I’m still on my way lost journey and I believe I’m doing pretty good at it right now so I will continue to work towards my goal of dropping this hundred pounds over the next 9 months

Make some changes

Back on my grind today and I’m happy about it I set some goals that I plan on achieving this year as far as my finances go as far as my weight goes and as far as my personal life goals so this year I am putting my best foot forward I’m moving into this year in a path that will show results and I’m very excited about that happy Tuesday I hope that all of you who have set goals and a purpose to fulfill does fulfill that goal plus some because I plan on doing that in my own life for the rest of my life. When it comes to my family myself my work my relationships and my life expectancy all of these matter to me a lot and I will not stop until I accomplish every single thing that I have set out to accomplish.

He did it on purpose

I was out looking at my car today I saw all these scratches on her at first couldn’t understand what had happened to my baby then I realized my husband’s son is the only one who washes my car and he washed my car with a rag that had branches and leaves in it and didn’t care what it did to my car even though I am the one who drives him around everywhere he goes I felt like that was messed up and if I had the choice he would walk everywhere from now on frfr anyway happy Monday