I have been fighting Social Security for over six years now and for the life of me I have been in a fog just going through the motions every day trying to figure out what The next step is to get my life back in order which direction to go or whether to just cut my losses and do what I know best to do and every time I start to go in that direction I feel like I am on the brink of, doing something that will turn my life upside down if I go that route because making rash choices in my life in the past has cost me greatly and I don’t wanna do it again even though I don’t regret those choices I don’t want to do them again and end up in a hole bigger than I’ve ever been in even though I’m not happy in the situation I’m in right now and I know I don’t wanna be in it for the rest of my life I don’t want to uproot again and start over somewhere else without having my ducks in a row or having a solid plan I don’t want to begin again without at least having everything that I know I came here with because it wouldn’t be right and I would be devastated so I’m trying to understand what it is that I need to do and why I am so hesitant to move forward even though I know I am able to land on my feet and get things done I just don’t feel like I am supposed to go anywhere right now and I don’t understand why so that is why I am trying to figure out why and why it’s taking so long and it’s such a difficult fight to get everything moving forward for me right now why am I being held here.
I am putting off making plans I am really living my life the way that I want to live it actually finding the love that will love me the way that I am used to being loved having someone who is compatible with me who is honest and loving and giving and has roots like I do and who is honorable who I wouldn’t mind taking Home to my mom and who has morals and things of that sort who I can travel with who will cherish me and celebrate me as I would them this is what I’m putting off with the life I’m living right now it’s like my life is shrouded in secrecy because of who I am with and what I’m dealing with and I’m tired of living in shame. I am a family oriented person and I want the person who I am with to be family oriented as well I love my family and I love traveling I don’t want to be just one of many I am the one and that is how it should be so this is what I’m putting off and I don’t want to continue that for much longer.
What’s something you would attempt if you were guaranteed not to fail.
I would start a nonprofit for the well-being of small children five and under to teach them how to learn adapt and grow in an environment that is not geared toward helping them succeed in life but is more geared toward showing them how to grow up too fast and navigate the world as adults before they are even able to speak I would create programs that would help them utilize their small developing adventurous imaginations so that they are able to still be children but also be the great minds of the future without having a bunch of responsibility and a bunch of unnecessary attitude around them they would have different approaches to education and learning as well as different approaches to growth and development with a myriad of developmental bases of learning where it’s fun but also Educational with different kinds of motivational people in their environment who also have a heart for children and I would advocate for them on every level whether it’s food games education athletics or just as simple as communication between children and parents activism is more than just marching and talking it is also real life action and that is what I would do if I knew I would not fail.
In music there are some in R&B some in gospel some in reggae some soft country some in Christian some in pop some in soft rock some and country rap some in regular rap all of these have touched my life in different ways there are also artists that have touched my life in movie genres television genres as well as Radio genres and in books they all play a different role and have a different part of my life.
If I was to say my favorite artist someone I could listen to all day every day it would be either a mixture of Kirk Franklin, R. Kelly, Janet Jackson, Tupac Shakur biggie smalls Marvin Sapp, Fantasia, Joe, Chris Brown, Tank, BB and CC Winans, Marvin Winans, The Winans Luther Vandross. There are many others but these are the ones I can listen to nonstop and not ever get tired of listening to them
I have always been a dream or a person that likes to write and a person who likes to think and then I became a person who likes to speak so the things that I would write down I started seeing them aloud and watching them happen around me. I would always see things like a person who didn’t agree with what I saw or what I had said say it’s not because of what I said that this thing happened but I knew that it was because of what I said that it came about because of the sequence of events that took place that made it happen and it would make me chuckle because I didn’t knew that how it happened the process of what happened wouldn’t have happened like that if I hadn’t said it like that so I became a habit of mine to speak it into existence and watch it happen I’ve always been an optimist and I enjoy being an optimist because things always work out in my favor even when it doesn’t look like it. There’s always room for a win and since I’m a winner I always win in the end so my hobby is winning and writing about what I won. Whether that is weight loss Money understanding or peace of mind there are always little wins in everything.
What would you do if you lost all your possessions?
I have had to start over again so many times because of circumstances and life choices I lost all my stuff but I got back up and started over again got in a bad relationship and that guy was abusive and ripped up all my stuff and scared me in the process so I ended up in a shelter lost all my stuff a second time but what I would do is build myself up again getting my stuff a little by little
I sometimes wonder what happened to society I was reading a post about a person who went into a fast food restaurant to get something to eat not inside through the drive-through and they ordered some nuggets because they had a deal going on you order the 10 or 20 piece and you’ll get it a free fry with it small or large so she got a large and matter fact she got two free large fries with it. She told them the kind of sauces that she wanted for the nuggets and when I’m through the line she paid for it before she got there cause she ordered it online, the app since everything is done by app these days, but as she got through the line paid for her stuff left got home she realized that not only has she not gotten the kind of nuggets that she ordered. She didn’t even get any sauce for the nuggets as she thought about that, she just kept thinking how society is always complaining about wages and pay and how people don’t get a living wage and she just kept thinking how the government keeps lifting wages to make life easier but when she needs something and she goes to get simple things like the food that she wants to eat from a simple fast food restaurant Who is now going to be making $15-$20 an hour she can’t even get her order correct even though she’s putting so much time to learn what she’s learned at the job that she does that she hast to get correct or someone’s life could be in danger or someone’s Family could be hurt if she gets it wrong and she thinks about how all of these people don’t take their career and live seriously but they always take their pay seriously but they don’t put in the effort. It is when it comes time to go towards that future, they just want society to feel sorry for them and give them a leg up And then she wanders why are we as a society OK with that? Why are we always so willing to give give give instead of challenging people to do better with their self and their goals in life when will we start letting them know that if you want better, you need to do better you can’t expect a hand out all the time and still think that you deserve everything that other people have worked really hard for you can’t become an overnight sensation when you’ve only practice one Time, you want become a superstar singer if you only sang in the bathroom, so that record deal will not be coming your way you won’t be the lead cook at a restaurant if your favorite dish is cereal us as a society have got to begin to stand up for the things that we have worked hard for and stop letting people jump in and demand what they have not earned because it’s not fair to each and everyone of us and it’s definitely not OK when we keep getting the wrong stuff for what we paid for that was just an observation. Have a great evening.
I have always wanted to be remembered as someone who helped and made a difference in my families life that I have memories to cherish with my kids, grandkids and great grands along with my brothers and sisters that I was a generous person and I built a legacy that would help not only children grow into productive human beings, but also would build well for generations to come so that my family would have a family business that was surrounded by mental health, togetherness the village concept of raising children, and the connectedness of having one generation after another know each other, and be together. This is not what I see in my family society, and the world at large, my fear is that we will become a technological society and forget what it feels like to have that connection with each other to where we understand how each other thinks how each other is dependent on one another and able to function in this world so that you understand subliminal messages you understand the simple things I decide I you understand when you’re talking too much you understand when you go out to eat, you don’t act a monkey These things are important attributes of human life and it is so important for me to be able to be there to show my grandchildren and great grands how to be great human beings. These are my fears of the future because so much time has been lost, and it seems this new thought of being a working person has taken the place of being a family unit People don’t understand how important family is and what family brings you that kind of stability. Love care, unconditional love, especially when it’s your own child so this is my goal is for the future because no matter what happens in my life I know in my heart, that I will always have the love of my brothers and sisters, my nieces and nephews, because at the end of the day, we literally grew up together and I wouldn’t ever abandon them for any reason or my children no matter what they do, even if they’re hardhead as hell I still with it because I was taught better. Thank God for a mother, who prayed and still does.
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I like soul food, because I like the way we put an immense amount of flavor and the way we cook our food as Black people from around the world. I enjoy Hispanic tradition of food. Whether is Americanized or farming, Mexican countries because it has different flavors and it is Different in the way they put their ingredients with it their history and their family secrets in it. I love Thai food because of the way they put fruit to enhance the flavor in their food to make it taste flavorful and have a spice element with a sweetness to it also And I love Italian food because of the authenticity in it with the way they do their noodles, their spaghetti‘s, and most of their pastas whether it’s from scratch or processed it always has a genuine flavor that you can’t only say it came from an Italian restaurant or an Italian country There are several foods that I like, but these are by far my favorites.
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I have been on a virtual roller coaster because the meta-verse is so new to me and it’s so awesome that I find myself immersed in so many different aspects of it and so excited by all the things that I’m finding and seeing and being involved in that it is so much fun That the New World and sceneries in places that I am going to I can’t seem to get enough of it. It is mine blowing so when I am done with my chores for the day and my writing, and my immense decision, making about life and all that is going on I go into a whole New World to see and meet new people and explore what it is that is out there that I didn’t know about and I am really enjoying it so far. I can travel I can vacation I can earn, and I can meet and greet all wow in the comfort of my own home. I absolutely enjoy every aspect of it. It is a world in itself. Not to mention, I can cook and learn new cultures and languages and ways to work. It is amazing. Plus the like-minded people. I am having a blast. Still looking for my friends though.
When I’m in my room and I’m able to think about the things I accomplished during the day and I’m able to meditate and bring peace before I go to sleep and think about what my day brought, and how I made it through all of it and then to see what is to come And begin to manifest what is next for the future? It brings me a calm and makes me smile every time before I lay down, take my deep breath and breathe in all the gratitude that I feel for having made it through one more day, knowing that what a have just manifest it is already on the way And I feel happy and grateful right before I go to sleep.
The struggle is now not forever 