I was 18 years old and:

When was the first time you really felt like a grown up (if ever)?

I was always a homebody and my mom always told us to be in the house by dark when we were little. One thing you never wanted to hear is her calling your name ever or you were in big trouble. When we got older she got more lenient and we could stay out a little later like 9 or 9:30 unless we were going to church or something then there was no time limit cause church was like a marathon. This one Wednesday night I had just turned 18 in September I was feeling so big and grownup like I could do anything I wanted to I had met this man who was pursuing me really hard I invited him to church and he came my naïve behind thinking he is really into me this lying 35 claiming he is 22 then 28 years old man had my 17 then 18 years old nose wide open. I got out of church and me being all grown now was going to walk home with him at night it was a great walk even if it cast me my senior activities due to the child that came from me being so damn grown. You live and you learn.

Join the discussion you are welcome here

The ones who inspired my life the most growing up from stories

Name the professional athletes you respect the most and why.

The athletes that I drew to marveled by and loved to watch and hear about where Flo Jo Jackie Robinson Muhammad Ali the marvelous Marvin Hagler Joe Louis Jesse Owens you couldn’t get past these names in the different sports because they were the ones who made all the headlines they were so important and so good at what they did that no matter what they were involved in you knew that they were the best and you wanted to be the next one just like them I marveled at them and wanted to be just like them or even better I respected them never knew how hard it was for them until I got older thought they had the best lives not realizing what struggle it was to be them during those times so I have the upmost respect and love for them knowing that not only did they have the fight just to do what they loved but they also persevered made it happen so that someone like me could come forward and do it too so I have much respect for each and everyone of them still do to this day.

Stupid

If you had to give up one word that you use regularly, what would it be?

I have several conversations with a certain person during the day and as I am talking to this person, I am always saying in my mind. In my thoughts when I walk away this person is so stupid. Why do they think like this? That was stupid this is stupid. Why do they act so stupid? Why is there behavior so stupid Why do I put up with this stupid Ness of this person every other word out of my mouth when dealing with this person is always the word stupid coming out of my mouth or a certain instances coming out of my mouth about this person makes me think that I am becoming stupid from dealing with them and I keep thinking that you are a product of the company that you keep so I always try to rephrase my thoughts and cautioned myself to put a cap on what I’m about to say or do so that I do not let that word stupid come out of my mouth because I know the more that I said the more I am bringing that back into my life so that is the one word there are others, but that is the main word that I really am working on getting rid of out of my thoughts out of my mouth and out of my heart when it comes to things that happen during my daily routine.

Yes I have more than one

Have you ever had surgery? What for?

More than 3

The first surgery I had was minor surgery as a child. I walked past a shard of glass from a large, broken picture window. I sliced my leg along my calf leg on the left side. I had to be rushed to the hospital. I also had hand surgery from letting a fire cracker blow up in my hand. Another minor surgery where stitches were needed.This is before the time of numbing the area so I had to get several stitches and the held down in order to stay still. My next surgery, was when I had been in labor for two days. My son was being very stubborn and not wanting to get in the right position so my labor was being prolong until the core began to wrap around his neck from all of his turning so I ended up having to have a C-section on an emergency my next surgery after that was a planned surgery my daughter then a third C-section after that, I had to have a thyroidectomy because my thyroid was not functioning correctly, and had created a mass, the size of a potato in my throat (a goiter) and another mass the size of a football in my chest, which was causing me to not be able to breathe correctly and have fainting spells often so I had to have open chest surgery and throat surgery. After that one, I had a total hysterectomy because of problems with my uterus and anemia and bleeding problems. My body has been through quite a bit, but I would say it has all been worth it.

God is life

How important is spirituality in your life?

Spirituality is very important to me because God is life.

God has made my life worthwhile and worth living things haven’t always been easy but with him by my side, I’ve been able to get through a lot and not go over the deep end. I’ve had some very traumatic events in my life. I didn’t know what was coming next or what to do, but my faith and my belief kept me going. There’s so much more I could say, but I want him with this God is everything..

Happy 2023

This year started out pretty slow. I wanted to be up to bring in the new year next to the man I wanted to spend the year with so as I was sitting there and the hours were passing by I decided to get up and go into the den to try to be next to him to watch whatever he was watching on TV and when I got to the door, he stopped me. And said, what are you doing? I said I’m coming in here with you so that we can bring in the year together. He said it’s not midnight, so go back and do whatever you was doing. I shouldn’t have let that bother me, but for some reason it did, and I decided to go lay down and get back up at midnight. I didn’t wake back up until around four in the morning. I had missed everything. I was so disappointed in myself and that fact. It started to paste of the new year letting me know this was going to be another lonely year, and I hate that fact that at least I’ve made some friends that I am going to capitalize on so even if I won’t be spending time with him, I will be spending time with them. Happy New Year y’all

My sisters birthday

This is my last week here in California today is my sister‘s birthday happy birthday Lynette I hope you had a fantastic birthday I have completely enjoyed myself being able to get out and about travel around see things in California that are going on around here and riding the bus and train everywhere I will enjoy my time visiting with my mom my niece I even got to see my nephew Justin while I was out here so I feel good now I’m heading back to Florida it’s been a good day next year will be even better good night. Plus I’ve lost some weight I’ll be on a plane Friday night

Rising cost

Today I went into the store Walmart shout out to Walmart to pick up a few things and I was doing a price check on some eggs because generally when the price isn’t there it must be an astronomical price that they don’t want you to look at just pay when you get to the counter. I asked a Walmart employee what the price was for the eggs and I figured the price that was there was incorrect because I had never seen eggs cost almost $16. The employee came over to me and he told me that the price was correct so I asked him what was the price of the pack that was right below that 60 pack of eggs and he went on to tell me that I should blame the Biden administration for the price of the eggs I sat there and I thought why would I blame Biden for eggs why not blame you. Because your salary is $15.09 an hour so prices would have to go up in order to pay your salary why would I blame the government when it would be a wiser deduction to stay at home and blame what’s right here if I’m going to lay blame. But I let him go on and talk without uttering a word. He said there are all these people in office but none of them know how to run a country as if he was someone who knew about how to run a whole government or knew anything above a checkers profession it baffled me and it also made me think people are so quick to put blame on others instead of taking responsibility for their own actions I for one am guilty of that myself I am learning every day how to take accountability for what I do and not put the blame on others that is the right way to be. I don’t blame the president for the Senate or the House of Representatives they get the blame for their own actions. What President Biden and Vice President Harris does they take responsibility for no one else and I would not add to their plate by being arrogant or unjustly blaming them for stuff that is not their fault they might not be strong but they are also not weak and I support them. Enjoy the rest of your day happy Thursday!!!

Lil Durk concert

Today I’m at a lil Durk concert because I won tickets it’s nothing more telling then when you win something and have no one to share it with so I came alone but I’m still happy to be here because I know good still comes to me even with out anyone else no matter how much they say I’m not favored I still am and it shows every day of my life anyway happy Tuesday.

My husband got out of the hospital

It had been a week and he was still not doing well when I called 911 for him he had scared me and I wasn’t going to lose him. He was talking crazy but he was alive, I couldn’t put my finger on it and I didn’t know how to cope with it but I knew he wasn’t ready to go home in a short amount of time he was putting his affairs in order telling me what to do and how I would be able to sustain myself after he was gone and that was not rational to me him being in his 40s we have a whole life to live and I kept telling him that but he wasn’t trying to hear me he just kept saying let him go. When they finally got him to a point where he was starting to get of sound mind he began to blame me for keeping him there and that hurt even worse because when I care about somebody their life is the most important thing to me and their survival is paramount to everything else. I would never want anything to happen to him despite his treatment of people or me I still want him around because everybody deserves every chance until that last chance is given now I feel like an outsider because I wanted to check on him and was told they will see if he’s up for company (While staying at a non-immediate family members house) when I’m his wife now I’m a part of everybody else amazing that really hurts when I am the one that got him to the hospital it’s crazy if I’m only the tables were turned.