This week on the 25th marked my one year anniversary being married to my husband Làron and you know what we did nothing because he has said that I don’t follow him which is not true I knew not to be with someone like him in the first place but my loving heart told me to try to make it work now I’m with a person who never celebrates me or takes in the things that I feel are important and has an explosive argumentative personality that no matter what I say he always say the opposite and honestly I’m really tired of it I want my peace back where I can have my hope and watch things work out for me in my face with out his hate speech because nothing works out for him because of what he spews out of his mouth all the time Anyway I am in the process of making new friends that are like minded so that I can have people to celebrate and who will celebrate me it seems to be working and I’m good with it.
Tag: Men
My week in a nutshell
This week has been eye opening for me I have already seen some difference’s already I have worked more and have been trying to get into the grove of the year I’ve been more tired and more active I’ve even worked out a couple of time’s. I am more proactive I am losing weight consistently and meeting new people my hope is to create consistent relationships that will allow me to feel what I need to feel in order to be in active and happy. I haven’t been in a relationship like this one before in my life it’s difficult to be or feel unloved by someone who is supposed to be your mate partner and friend who doesn’t believe in being consistent or loving to the person who has their back the most but he refuses to understand that because growing up in a loveless family makes you more likely to be a loveless person who doesn’t know how to create bonds that make life happy or bearable when you grow up in a loveless family more than likely become a contentious person who has no idea how to love someone fully I struggle with my inability to understand why he is the way he is or how to get a relationship that will be fulfilling and satisfiing to me. Well I’m off from work today because there’s no school and I am relaxing and working out but also I’m working on implementing things that will be beneficial to not just my life but the lives of those that I love. Happy Friday and enjoy this wonderful Martin Luther King weekend.
Make some changes
Back on my grind today and I’m happy about it I set some goals that I plan on achieving this year as far as my finances go as far as my weight goes and as far as my personal life goals so this year I am putting my best foot forward I’m moving into this year in a path that will show results and I’m very excited about that happy Tuesday I hope that all of you who have set goals and a purpose to fulfill does fulfill that goal plus some because I plan on doing that in my own life for the rest of my life. When it comes to my family myself my work my relationships and my life expectancy all of these matter to me a lot and I will not stop until I accomplish every single thing that I have set out to accomplish.
He is so evil
I was up late last night trying to find new friends and enjoy my night when my husband begins to tell me to go to bed like I’m a child he tells me to chill out cause I was laughing at some of the conversations I was having with my friends on my computer to the point that he came to see who I was talking to and demanding that I stop being happy and go to bed saying I would have to get up early when that was not true. When I told him that he began to hit me over and over again and yell at me for no reason like what I was doing was so terrible then he took my things away (my phone, computer, and pad and told me my things were not mine which was crazy I was so upset I was crying and couldn’t think straight as he kept demanding that I listen to him or he would hurt me again he kept forcing me to drink and telling me how much he doesn’t care about how I feel it was so disrespectful and disheartening but I made it through he will get his soon enough.
Happy New Year
Today is January 1st 2021 I finally came up with my New Year’s resolutions this year is a year of completion I’m going to work at completing a lot of my goals this year I started them last year but this year it is my goal to complete them. I am excited to live my best life and do the things that will bring joy happiness and excitement to my life and those that I love around me.
Always feel like everyday is a new beginning a chance to start over and accomplish things that I didn’t accomplish the day before but this time I’m not only will accomplish those things I will add on to them and not give up anyway happy New Year here’s to a year of accomplishing goals finishing task and having fun while doing it.
Happy New Year Eve
Tomorrow starts 2022 and this year has been a year of change so many things have happened so many differences so many things that we will never forget and will never understand. I am for one happy that we have made it through another year. This is why I decided to post on the last day of the year so many changes have happened I am very excited to see how the next year will progress and how everyone will change and adapt with everything that has happened over the last 2 years.
I became a grandmother this year I got married this year I started a new job I’ve lost an abundance of weight and became more active and I’m still on a weight loss journey, and I realized I want more out of life this year so I will see how next year will add on to better things and build more on top of what has happened this year happy New Year’s Eve everyone I will see you in the new year
Why is it so hard
I’m tired of trying to get him to understand who I am and what’s important to me. I never dreamed I would be with a person who only sees things from their own twisted point of view and tried to make that view be law always. I was raised to give without expecting anything in return but my partner give’s always expecting something in return with interest then wonder’s why no one loves him without conditions yeah I know it’s crazy but true. I can’t tell him anything without him making it seem as if I’m being unreasonable or unrealistic when it’s him who is taking things to a place they don’t need to go.
My frustration is overwhelming and I’m tired of trying to always be the good person when I’m being beat down by someone who can’t respect anything that we don’t agree on or that I don’t agree with him on I’m tired of the my way or high way method with him. He is not always right matter of fact half the time he is not right and I’m tired of being taken advantage of for keeping the peace while he continues to keep his narcissistic beliefs no matter how far fetched they are anyway I want better for my life this unhealthy unhappiness is for the birds!
Feeling under the weather
Over the last few days I’ve been feeling under the weather. Because the boy I keep from time to time I tell him all the time to cover his mouth when he sneezes and I take my vitamins and try to make sure I keep myself healthy as possible but it’s hard when someone doesn’t take accountability for what they’re doing around you. I also work in the schools and a lot of times the kids have runny noses coughs and all kinds of unsavory health issues that they don’t want to take care of. These things over time can affect everyone’s health around them. The last time I was in the school there was a child who was really sick this child began to throw up and was just not feeling the best at all. I really felt bad for the child it’s hard to not feel good and to have to deal with it. One good thing that came out of today was I got to talk to my daughter and my cute as a button grandson who kept talking and giggling to me in his baby language that was a highlight of my day other than talking to my husband who is always full of unconventional knowledge and different aspects of life sometimes hard to take in
Anyway I have been having a headache a runny nose and my stomach has been bothering me for the last couple of days and I’ve been trying to work through it but I’m still not feeling the best I’m hoping that I will get better soon. Because feeling sick is the worst thing in the world to me. I’m hoping to feel better so I can work tomorrow I don’t want to be sick at work anyway, I hope you all are having a wonderful day or at least the better day than me happy Monday.
I didn’t get the post yesterday
Yesterday I had a long day I got up first thing in the morning thinking I was going to go and do my second donation at plasma and got disappointed because their system was down I waited there for over an hour to no avail it was very disappointing I ended up having to leave it would have been my high day which I was kind of looking forward to but since that didn’t happen I figured I’ll go and take care of some other business. I left there came home and all of a sudden I felt drained I wanted to rest for a while I knew a friend of mine was going to an event later on and I was excited to go with him to that event we had talked about it and it was going to be a nice event but when it came time he asked me what I was going to do and I said I’m going with you and he commenced to tell me that I wasn’t going with him I was going to have to drive myself there and meet him there that was another disappointment because I didn’t think it made sense for us to be leaving from the same house going to the same event but in different cars so I decided not to go.
I decided to stay home take a nice long bath and relax for the rest of the day I was a little frustrated by the turn of events of the day but I was willing to just let the day slide by and start a new the next day so as I was in the tub I got a text from another friend of mine who invited me out to chill with her and had I had went to that other event I wouldn’t have been here to get that call so I went out with her and had a wonderful time came back home in high spirits sat down had a drink and went to bed happy the day wasn’t a total bust after all woke up this morning and enjoyed my Sunday I hope you enjoyed your day too. Sometimes taking care of self and your own mental stability can change everything around you self care is very important I’m learning that everyday.
I also was able to talk to my daughter and grandson and see his cute little bubbly face that made my day too I love when I have these moments to enjoy little times with family it makes life seem not so lonely and I also love my job very much the kids I work with can be challenging but that makes it that much better because they keep my mind running and they keep me focused on what needs to be done and I enjoyed that a lot too anyway good night
I love my friends and family
I have had many people in my life from the time I was born many of which I call to this day my family and close friends. Many of us are taught through words and life experience that sometimes friends can sometimes considered closer than a family member or the one person who can understand exactly what the person is going through.anyway.
The struggle is now not forever 