Today I went into the store Walmart shout out to Walmart to pick up a few things and I was doing a price check on some eggs because generally when the price isn’t there it must be an astronomical price that they don’t want you to look at just pay when you get to the counter. I asked a Walmart employee what the price was for the eggs and I figured the price that was there was incorrect because I had never seen eggs cost almost $16. The employee came over to me and he told me that the price was correct so I asked him what was the price of the pack that was right below that 60 pack of eggs and he went on to tell me that I should blame the Biden administration for the price of the eggs I sat there and I thought why would I blame Biden for eggs why not blame you. Because your salary is $15.09 an hour so prices would have to go up in order to pay your salary why would I blame the government when it would be a wiser deduction to stay at home and blame what’s right here if I’m going to lay blame. But I let him go on and talk without uttering a word. He said there are all these people in office but none of them know how to run a country as if he was someone who knew about how to run a whole government or knew anything above a checkers profession it baffled me and it also made me think people are so quick to put blame on others instead of taking responsibility for their own actions I for one am guilty of that myself I am learning every day how to take accountability for what I do and not put the blame on others that is the right way to be. I don’t blame the president for the Senate or the House of Representatives they get the blame for their own actions. What President Biden and Vice President Harris does they take responsibility for no one else and I would not add to their plate by being arrogant or unjustly blaming them for stuff that is not their fault they might not be strong but they are also not weak and I support them. Enjoy the rest of your day happy Thursday!!!
Tag: moving forward
Going to California
I’m going home in a few weeks I haven’t been back there in 5 years and I’m excited to go it’s one of those things where I know I’m going to be around people like me and I will have time to feel like myself and have people who love me for me and the excitement is overwhelming. While at the same time I feel a sadness that I’m leaving my stuff here with someone who doesn’t cherish the things that I cherish not knowing if the things that I love will be here when I get back because of his arrogance and I don’t care attitude even though I know I wouldn’t do that to him he would do that to me and I feel angry and scared all at the same time because these are the things that I didn’t want to lose that I’ve taken with me everywhere that I went. I am very happy to be going around people that celebrate each other where I won’t have to see another birthday alone this year and I will be able to visit friends who like having people over just so many things to do that make life worthwhile I can’t wait to go most of all to get away from here and be in a good happy environment for once without someone who is pessimistic about everything and never has a kind word to say about anyone especially women because he’s bitter and narcissistic on the Covert side due to lack of nurturing I no longer take the blame for that or even care life is to short to live unhappy with someone who is supposed to love me but puts me last at every turn I’m worth more than green that’s just my name anyway happy Juneteenth
Lil Durk concert
Today I’m at a lil Durk concert because I won tickets it’s nothing more telling then when you win something and have no one to share it with so I came alone but I’m still happy to be here because I know good still comes to me even with out anyone else no matter how much they say I’m not favored I still am and it shows every day of my life anyway happy Tuesday.
My husband got out of the hospital
It had been a week and he was still not doing well when I called 911 for him he had scared me and I wasn’t going to lose him. He was talking crazy but he was alive, I couldn’t put my finger on it and I didn’t know how to cope with it but I knew he wasn’t ready to go home in a short amount of time he was putting his affairs in order telling me what to do and how I would be able to sustain myself after he was gone and that was not rational to me him being in his 40s we have a whole life to live and I kept telling him that but he wasn’t trying to hear me he just kept saying let him go. When they finally got him to a point where he was starting to get of sound mind he began to blame me for keeping him there and that hurt even worse because when I care about somebody their life is the most important thing to me and their survival is paramount to everything else. I would never want anything to happen to him despite his treatment of people or me I still want him around because everybody deserves every chance until that last chance is given now I feel like an outsider because I wanted to check on him and was told they will see if he’s up for company (While staying at a non-immediate family members house) when I’m his wife now I’m a part of everybody else amazing that really hurts when I am the one that got him to the hospital it’s crazy if I’m only the tables were turned.
A day missed
I was so active yesterday that I didn’t realize how much that was going to effect my body today I usually have the same routine. But when I get up this morning I was so tired that I couldn’t function or move so I kept saying a few more minutes that turned into a few hours and missed appointments.
I still ended up going food shopping but was even more exhausted after that been trying to get my spring cleaning done but it’s like this house has never ending work to do and it is really overwhelming I don’t want to give up though just wish I had friends to join in it would be different but I don’t have someone like that. Anyway happy Wednesday
Monday workout 🏋️♀️ day
I’m trying to be consistent with my workout 🏋️♂️ at the YMCA for at least 3 times a week for 30 minutes it’s not always easy for me because I feel so much pain all the time in my body. I often feel like giving up and wishing to die I had a death 💀 wish for some years which made life easy to live because nothing mattered so if I did something that caused me to leave here I would be at peace ✌🏾 finally. For some reason God would not let me go no matter how much of a dear devil 😈 I tried to be it’s so true when they say favor ain’t fair and God takes care of His own.
There have been so many times when things should have went so differently and didn’t just because it was me involved in it. I remember my pastor/Uncle Tyrone telling a story in church about being on a plain and there being some turbulence and he saying the people on that flight were so lucky because he was on it and that meant everyone was going to be fine because God takes care of His own and they were. He went on to let us know we all have that kind of power due to our relationship with God it changed my life and my way of thinking 💭 that day. I never saw God the same again or my way of thinking 🤔 about Him and this world 🌍.
I know our minds are very powerful and so are our words add action to that and we can change the world 🗺 our relationships and the way people see us. Right now I’m working on changing my body image and how I feel about myself and how I live my life the best way I live it. Happy Monday
First day of spring break
What I plan to do for spring break is organize plan and make new provisions for this house and hang out with friends it will be a relaxing time for me and a time to replenish rethink and re-strategize while thinking of new ways to make money I have a few things in the works but I’m going to continue to look for new ways to add to those things to bring in new streams of income. While still working on my weight and working on my house. 
This rain is relentless it makes the day seem really dreary but it is much needed I just hate having to go out in it because it’s so uncomfortable and I have to jump in the shower a lot in order to keep myself calm and comfortable it’s a real pain happy Friday everyone.
Late night hour
Most nights I don’t sleep I stay up and think and clean when I’m not working I do a lot of soul-searching and trying to figure out how I can get my passion out in the world because I love working with small children my dream is to have little children learning as much as they can before their brains become concrete and they are no longer able to absorb masses of information at an early age which will give them a love for learning for a lifetime. I have always watched from the time my children were little them absorb information so quickly and be in all by how they saw the world and so excited with them and for them to see everything that I had saw through fresh eyes.
When I look at children I know that they are the next great in this world and with the right nourishment and guidance they will become a memorable part of this society and this is why I try to work as hard as I can to encourage that growth and make them be the best that they can be I’m so proud of my own children and the children that I work with even though sometimes they can be difficult and give me a hard timeWhen I look at children I know that they are the next great in this world and with the right nourishment and guidance they will become a memorable part of this society and this is why I try to work as hard as I can to encourage that growth and make them be the best that they can be I’m so proud of my own children and the children that I work with even though sometimes they can be difficult and give me a hard time
I listen to Steve Harvey in the morning when I have time and he always gives the right motivational speech to say if you’re doing something that you love it never feels like a job and that is so true because when I’m working with kids it never feels like a drag or something that I hate doing I really love seeing their faces the joy in their eyes even when they roll their eyes because they see they’re gonna have to do some work with me it’s stillI listen to Steve Harvey in the morning when I have time and he always gives the right motivational speech to say if you’re doing something that you love it never feels like a job and that is so true because when I’m working with kids it never feels like a drag or something that I hate doing I really love seeing their faces the joy in their eyes even when they roll their eyes because they see they’re gonna have to do some work with me it’s still brings me peace in knowing that they will know something more when they leave my classroom and they will have a little bit more respect for themselves and their classmates as well as me for trying to help them be better at whatever it is they need to know. We’re going into spring break and I’m going to use this time to reflect on how I can help them better during this next period of time when I’ll be working with them. Happy break everyone I will be keeping up with my diet while on spring break I have lost even more weight over this time and I am not giving up this is my goal for the year and I will not stop until I reach my goal
A piece of paper
I had to take a long ride with my husband to advocate for him out of town but for me it was a time to get away with someone I love ❤️ and also help him convey how he is doing on a daily basis like I always do. Instead of this being a relaxing time it became an interrogation of all the things he feels I have done wrong because of his belief that he should have many relationships but not let those people know he has a wife or mate and I feel that’s wrong because he is taking their right to choose away because he can not comment to any of them so I feel like he is using them and he gets angry 😡 with me and denys me the things I desire.
He told me on this trip we are only married on paper he is not really married to me and as I thought 💭 about that and all that I have done for him it really hurt 😔 my feelings that he could be that disrespectful to me but then again what did I expect from a person that uses and disrespects women all the time in (including his own sisters) the first place can’t blame anyone but myself. Happy Saturday the last one in February! Happy Black History month
Long term love that’s real
This week on the 25th marked my one year anniversary being married to my husband Làron and you know what we did nothing because he has said that I don’t follow him which is not true I knew not to be with someone like him in the first place but my loving heart told me to try to make it work now I’m with a person who never celebrates me or takes in the things that I feel are important and has an explosive argumentative personality that no matter what I say he always say the opposite and honestly I’m really tired of it I want my peace back where I can have my hope and watch things work out for me in my face with out his hate speech because nothing works out for him because of what he spews out of his mouth all the time Anyway I am in the process of making new friends that are like minded so that I can have people to celebrate and who will celebrate me it seems to be working and I’m good with it.
The struggle is now not forever 