It had been a week and he was still not doing well when I called 911 for him he had scared me and I wasn’t going to lose him. He was talking crazy but he was alive, I couldn’t put my finger on it and I didn’t know how to cope with it but I knew he wasn’t ready to go home in a short amount of time he was putting his affairs in order telling me what to do and how I would be able to sustain myself after he was gone and that was not rational to me him being in his 40s we have a whole life to live and I kept telling him that but he wasn’t trying to hear me he just kept saying let him go. When they finally got him to a point where he was starting to get of sound mind he began to blame me for keeping him there and that hurt even worse because when I care about somebody their life is the most important thing to me and their survival is paramount to everything else. I would never want anything to happen to him despite his treatment of people or me I still want him around because everybody deserves every chance until that last chance is given now I feel like an outsider because I wanted to check on him and was told they will see if he’s up for company (While staying at a non-immediate family members house) when I’m his wife now I’m a part of everybody else amazing that really hurts when I am the one that got him to the hospital it’s crazy if I’m only the tables were turned.
Tag: past
A day missed
I was so active yesterday that I didn’t realize how much that was going to effect my body today I usually have the same routine. But when I get up this morning I was so tired that I couldn’t function or move so I kept saying a few more minutes that turned into a few hours and missed appointments.
I still ended up going food shopping but was even more exhausted after that been trying to get my spring cleaning done but it’s like this house has never ending work to do and it is really overwhelming I don’t want to give up though just wish I had friends to join in it would be different but I don’t have someone like that. Anyway happy Wednesday
A piece of paper
I had to take a long ride with my husband to advocate for him out of town but for me it was a time to get away with someone I love ❤️ and also help him convey how he is doing on a daily basis like I always do. Instead of this being a relaxing time it became an interrogation of all the things he feels I have done wrong because of his belief that he should have many relationships but not let those people know he has a wife or mate and I feel that’s wrong because he is taking their right to choose away because he can not comment to any of them so I feel like he is using them and he gets angry 😡 with me and denys me the things I desire.
He told me on this trip we are only married on paper he is not really married to me and as I thought 💭 about that and all that I have done for him it really hurt 😔 my feelings that he could be that disrespectful to me but then again what did I expect from a person that uses and disrespects women all the time in (including his own sisters) the first place can’t blame anyone but myself. Happy Saturday the last one in February! Happy Black History month
Feeling under the weather
Over the last few days I’ve been feeling under the weather. Because the boy I keep from time to time I tell him all the time to cover his mouth when he sneezes and I take my vitamins and try to make sure I keep myself healthy as possible but it’s hard when someone doesn’t take accountability for what they’re doing around you. I also work in the schools and a lot of times the kids have runny noses coughs and all kinds of unsavory health issues that they don’t want to take care of. These things over time can affect everyone’s health around them. The last time I was in the school there was a child who was really sick this child began to throw up and was just not feeling the best at all. I really felt bad for the child it’s hard to not feel good and to have to deal with it. One good thing that came out of today was I got to talk to my daughter and my cute as a button grandson who kept talking and giggling to me in his baby language that was a highlight of my day other than talking to my husband who is always full of unconventional knowledge and different aspects of life sometimes hard to take in
Anyway I have been having a headache a runny nose and my stomach has been bothering me for the last couple of days and I’ve been trying to work through it but I’m still not feeling the best I’m hoping that I will get better soon. Because feeling sick is the worst thing in the world to me. I’m hoping to feel better so I can work tomorrow I don’t want to be sick at work anyway, I hope you all are having a wonderful day or at least the better day than me happy Monday.
Happy Black Friday
I use to love to shop on Black Friday it was the most exciting day of the year for me to go out in the rush and get educational toys and gifts as well as electronic gifts for my kids to help make learning fun for them I was always excited to see what new gadget had come out so I could surprise them with it and make them smile on Christmas
I haven’t shopped on Black Friday in some years now because my kids are grown and because the way life has went for me I am happy I have a young grandson to do a little something for he is so handsome and growing so fast I love him so much already. I hope his first Christmas is a great
He has so much life to look forward to and I am so proud of him and my daughter who is his mommy she does everything she can to make sure he is taken care of happy Black Friday
Saturday November 20th
Today is my day to get out and handle business enjoy life and have fun in any way that I can I hope that you are doing the same life is too short to not enjoy it I think I’m going to work out and find something to cook and prepare for the week to come since Thanksgiving is next week I’m very excited about that because I love the holiday season I miss the family time and all of the shenanigans that go on with it maybe this year will be better then years past happy holidays but I also will be watching what I eat because I’m still on this weight loss journey
A rough day
I love what I do I love working with kids watching their minds grow but sometimes it can be tough they all have individualized personalities and want to be heard a lot of times all at the same time no matter how many times you might tell them raise your hand and wait your turn Johnny Joe is talking they still well yell out and let it be known what they have to say is of the utmost importance even if no one hears them because everybody is doing the exact same thing.
Today was one of those days and as I sit here thinking about it I chuckle a little bit because I know that it is just because they desire to feel important and be heard no matter how much is going on around them and that is the most important thing to them. As kids grow they are so involved in everything that sometimes we forget that they are still little and developing and learning as they move along through this thing called life and we have to take the time out to sit down and really listen for them to express whatever concerns they have that’s going on in their world.
That’s one of the reasons why I love what I do even if sometimes I leave out with my head pounding I still remember they are such a great part of my life to watch them grow and learn and explore the world around them and I am so grateful to be a part of it. Then I can try to remember the headache I was at their age and how my teacher was when she left going home after dealing with me on a day-to-day basis. Happy Thursday TBT.
I am always interested
I love adventure and exploring the world around me I enjoy being happy and trying new things weather it be food, adventure parks, sight seeing, or meeting new people I am always interested in making life the best it can be.
I find myself looking for new avenues to build wealth and help people understand that everyone needs help every now and then. I am working really hard to get back in school and finish my degree up and move forward with my life of working with children giving them a love of learning. Starting at birth to 5 years.
I am excited to travel around the world and see how other countries teach and help their children grow into productive young men and women it’s a wonderful thing to see children grow and learn anyway happy Wednesday. What have you always been interested in let’s chat about it? Money, relationship, passion,sex, friendship, travel,men, women, what?
Happy veterans Day
My brother Ben Junior is a veteran and my niece La’Keha is a veteran as well I am very proud of the two of them they served this country well I remember when my brother joined he was right out of high school and was leaving to boot camp my family and I went down to watch him graduate it was a proud day to see him he looks so handsome and we were so happy to be there we always supported each other when we did something great no matter how small.
When he went to Iraq it was a scary time for us didn’t know if you would make it back but wasn’t afraid because we knew if we kept the faith and supported him through it he would make it back home to us and he did he even did the reserves after he got out of active duty him and my knees both where in the Navy I’m proud of the both of them and I’m glad that they served this country well I had a desire to go into the service but did not make it because other plans were made instead.
Enjoy the rest of your holiday
I lost weight yay
I am so proud of my progress this last month because I have been putting my best foot forward to losing weight and have lost a total of 11 pounds so far just by being consistent I’m working at it consistently I am so proud of what I have done my doctor gave me encouragement today to keep it up and keep working at it. My iron levels have went up and I have been able to feel better on top of everything else this has made me very proud of myself.
I will not stop until I have accomplished my goal of losing my total hundred pounds that I have been working toward losing this is very important to me and I am not giving up until it is accomplished. Happy Tuesday everyone my journey is not over but it is going smoothly so far. On a brighter note my daughter is coming to see me I’m very happy about that as well I will hopefully get to meet my grandson for the first time face to face this is great news for me I miss them so much.
There’s something great about family around the holiday season that is so important to me that I want to be able to love on them very much.
The struggle is now not forever 