I was almost hit by a van that ran a stop sign today. I had quick refluxes and turned my car so fast and drove forward to make sure there was room between me and that car. My heart almost jumped out my chest.
I don’t have many instances like that but this one made me think about how things can change in an instant I’m really glad I was not hurt for real. On a brighter note my niece Jordyn has a birthday today I hope she has a great day.
Today is the first day of my workout I’m focused on my stomach area I’ve been working on my stomach area for years lol it has been the bane of my existence ever since my first C-section that pouch at the bottom of my stomach I have not been able to get rid of ever since then. My children are well grown now and I’m still working on getting rid of that couch I have thought about liposuction and taking fat burners eaten all kinds of healthy foods and steal that stomach is still sitting there I don’t know what else to try I even did the keto diet
I’m always the one trying to be as healthy as possible but nothing seems to work for me I think it has something to do with my thyroid problem and the fact that my knees are bad but I still keep trying. i’m always working at building myself up so that I can be here for the long-haul that’s important to me because I haven’t always wanted to be here for a long period of time there were some times when I was in a really dark place and I didn’t even want to live.
But I’m happy now that I’m doing better and feeling better and wanting more out of life even if it seems I’m not where I want to be I’m getting there and I’m working at getting better and that’s what’s important no matter what’s happening around me me being here is enough enjoy the rest of you guises day
Today started out pretty good I woke up late in the morning went to pick up my meds and then came back home. To a man that always feels the things he says are simple when everything he says or ask is always a prelude to something way more sinister and taxing but he doesn’t ever see it that way so I’m always left with feelings of inadequacy or like I’ve caused a problem when I haven’t.
Then he’ll attach it to something else that has nothing to do with the subject at hand like he did me a favor by doing something when in the end he was the one that got the pleasure out of it, it’s crazy but I don’t get upset I’m used to it by I know I shouldn’t be because it’s not normal. I’m working on working through things and getting myself together so that I can be the best me possible.
I’m learning to enjoy my life even if I have to do that alone because my peace of mind is the most important to me and living my life the best way that I can is to me the best thing that I can do for myself and my family. Have a great Sunday you guys.
Today my husband is going to be Selling food
At the Rains and Rebault game I hope he does well he has been planning this for a couple weeks now him and a friend of his go Ron good luck baby come out and support your favorite team and give him a little support too while you’re out there
I want to be with a man that is open and honest with me. Doesn’t beat around the bush and play games with my heart or my head. Is that to much to ask for in a relationship?
I am very open minded and willing to give my everything to the people I care about as long as I feel the same thing in return it’s hard to give when I feel like I’m not appreciated or whatever I do falls on deaf ears.
I know relationships are give an take but what happens when you’re always giving and the other person minimizes what you give and makes it seem as if what they give is more significant than what you do? Even when what you do is really their responsibility and you take up the slack for them in every way possible when is enough enough?
I was in a a relationship for over 10 years with a man I loved and hated all at the same time. I would often pray back then that God would either let him die first or end of in jail forever just so I could be free from him cause I was afraid of him but I also felt indebted to him as well. He was mentally and emotionally and physically sexually abusive not just to me but to our children I was so used to being used that I never even saw the person that he was until it was too late and I was back being that little girl who was used to being treated poorly with no way out.
I came to him with no self-esteem looking any old kind of way like a tomboy and he showed me how to drive, pay bills, get my own place, and care for my own life then he used all that to break me completely to the point where I was ready to end my own life after finding out he used my love for him to blind me to what he was doing to my children. But it is a true statement what is done ✅ in the dark will always come to the light 💡 so I guess that’s why he is in prison forever.
Which brings me to the question at hand ✍️ does truth really matter when I got with my now partner I had only one ☝️ criteria I didn’t care if he made mistakes just tell me the truth. I believe if someone has certain feelings or beliefs I should have the choice if I want to be apart of that or not don’t lie to me or about me to someone else and not let me in on this and expect me to go along with the story you told.
I am open to a poly relationship but not if me of the other person female/s don’t know about each other it’s (to me) not healthy or safe and most of all it’s not balanced no matter how people try to make it seem like it’s a great thing quality time is supposed to mean something not just words. It takes work to make a relationship succeed and the more people in that relationship the more work the dominant person which is supposed to be the man has to put in if it’s that kind of relationship. I always want to feel apart weather it be myself a woman and a man, myself and a woman or myself and a man I need to feel connected always. So tell me does the truth make relationships better or worse?
The struggle is now not forever 