Today my youngest child turned 23. I am very happy that she has lived a whole Nother year. I am very proud of her and glad that she has done such a great job at surviving this long. I pray that the next year will be a great adventure for her full of great blessings and gifts, and welcome to potential that she will see nothing but goodness and treasure coming her way she is a blessing to be on this earth, and I love her very much. She makes my life happy and want to be encouraged about. I’m hoping to see her more and contribute to her happiness like my mom contributed to mine happy birthday my beautiful daughter. I love you. Lexys
Tag: responsibility
Take time to love folks
I have been struggling the last few days hating the thought of living with regret I moved from New Jersey when I was younger almost 12 and at that time I was really afraid that I (we) would never see our family that I loved so dearly back there and I would have nightmares about it for years cause I thought I would forget them I never went back out there for many many years. Lost so many loved ones over the past 25 years it’s crazy I don’t want to miss any more time with my family I want an am making plans to see y’all at least 3 times a year. I want my grandkids to meet all of you while they are little so that they can grow up loving their family I voted and I’m starting a new diet regimen let y’all know what comes of it
My sisters birthday
This is my last week here in California today is my sister‘s birthday happy birthday Lynette I hope you had a fantastic birthday I have completely enjoyed myself being able to get out and about travel around see things in California that are going on around here and riding the bus and train everywhere I will enjoy my time visiting with my mom my niece I even got to see my nephew Justin while I was out here so I feel good now I’m heading back to Florida it’s been a good day next year will be even better good night. Plus I’ve lost some weight I’ll be on a plane Friday night
This was the bus
I got on the bus this morning and in the front seat where the people with disabilities is supposed to be able to see it were a bunch of teenagers sitting there looking at me giggling and then playing with their phones I looked at them and then I looked at the bus driver they were Hispanic that didn’t matter it was the fact that they saw that I didn’t have the balance that I had a cane and that those feet were obviously for people like me and they didn’t move so I looked at the bus driver she begins to speak in Spanish telling everyone to move back I really couldn’t understand her too well but I caught a little glimpses of what she was saying because I’m rudimentary in Spanish I feel a little dismayed by the whole thing because the driver is supposed to get up and empty those seats when she sees or he and people are not moving I shouldn’t of had to stand that hallway falling all over the place when those seats are there specifically for people like me it was really upsetting.
In California Dreaming
I have been in California for almost a month now and I have accomplished most of the things I have come to do except for one thing and that’s the most important thing I came to do I’m constantly thinking of different ways to get it done but still have not done it yet. My frustration is overwhelming and I feel like I am close but not there yet. It has been a very productive month but I really need my income to come through that’s my goal and I must lose this weight as well it’s been slow and steady I am working on it every day continuously anyway I met someone who I think is going to be a good match for me also very excited about this person as well keeping positive vibes up to bring in this new person happy Monday
Rising cost
Today I went into the store Walmart shout out to Walmart to pick up a few things and I was doing a price check on some eggs because generally when the price isn’t there it must be an astronomical price that they don’t want you to look at just pay when you get to the counter. I asked a Walmart employee what the price was for the eggs and I figured the price that was there was incorrect because I had never seen eggs cost almost $16. The employee came over to me and he told me that the price was correct so I asked him what was the price of the pack that was right below that 60 pack of eggs and he went on to tell me that I should blame the Biden administration for the price of the eggs I sat there and I thought why would I blame Biden for eggs why not blame you. Because your salary is $15.09 an hour so prices would have to go up in order to pay your salary why would I blame the government when it would be a wiser deduction to stay at home and blame what’s right here if I’m going to lay blame. But I let him go on and talk without uttering a word. He said there are all these people in office but none of them know how to run a country as if he was someone who knew about how to run a whole government or knew anything above a checkers profession it baffled me and it also made me think people are so quick to put blame on others instead of taking responsibility for their own actions I for one am guilty of that myself I am learning every day how to take accountability for what I do and not put the blame on others that is the right way to be. I don’t blame the president for the Senate or the House of Representatives they get the blame for their own actions. What President Biden and Vice President Harris does they take responsibility for no one else and I would not add to their plate by being arrogant or unjustly blaming them for stuff that is not their fault they might not be strong but they are also not weak and I support them. Enjoy the rest of your day happy Thursday!!!
My husband got out of the hospital
It had been a week and he was still not doing well when I called 911 for him he had scared me and I wasn’t going to lose him. He was talking crazy but he was alive, I couldn’t put my finger on it and I didn’t know how to cope with it but I knew he wasn’t ready to go home in a short amount of time he was putting his affairs in order telling me what to do and how I would be able to sustain myself after he was gone and that was not rational to me him being in his 40s we have a whole life to live and I kept telling him that but he wasn’t trying to hear me he just kept saying let him go. When they finally got him to a point where he was starting to get of sound mind he began to blame me for keeping him there and that hurt even worse because when I care about somebody their life is the most important thing to me and their survival is paramount to everything else. I would never want anything to happen to him despite his treatment of people or me I still want him around because everybody deserves every chance until that last chance is given now I feel like an outsider because I wanted to check on him and was told they will see if he’s up for company (While staying at a non-immediate family members house) when I’m his wife now I’m a part of everybody else amazing that really hurts when I am the one that got him to the hospital it’s crazy if I’m only the tables were turned.
A day missed
I was so active yesterday that I didn’t realize how much that was going to effect my body today I usually have the same routine. But when I get up this morning I was so tired that I couldn’t function or move so I kept saying a few more minutes that turned into a few hours and missed appointments.
I still ended up going food shopping but was even more exhausted after that been trying to get my spring cleaning done but it’s like this house has never ending work to do and it is really overwhelming I don’t want to give up though just wish I had friends to join in it would be different but I don’t have someone like that. Anyway happy Wednesday
Monday workout 🏋️♀️ day
I’m trying to be consistent with my workout 🏋️♂️ at the YMCA for at least 3 times a week for 30 minutes it’s not always easy for me because I feel so much pain all the time in my body. I often feel like giving up and wishing to die I had a death 💀 wish for some years which made life easy to live because nothing mattered so if I did something that caused me to leave here I would be at peace ✌🏾 finally. For some reason God would not let me go no matter how much of a dear devil 😈 I tried to be it’s so true when they say favor ain’t fair and God takes care of His own.
There have been so many times when things should have went so differently and didn’t just because it was me involved in it. I remember my pastor/Uncle Tyrone telling a story in church about being on a plain and there being some turbulence and he saying the people on that flight were so lucky because he was on it and that meant everyone was going to be fine because God takes care of His own and they were. He went on to let us know we all have that kind of power due to our relationship with God it changed my life and my way of thinking 💭 that day. I never saw God the same again or my way of thinking 🤔 about Him and this world 🌍.
I know our minds are very powerful and so are our words add action to that and we can change the world 🗺 our relationships and the way people see us. Right now I’m working on changing my body image and how I feel about myself and how I live my life the best way I live it. Happy Monday
First day of spring break
What I plan to do for spring break is organize plan and make new provisions for this house and hang out with friends it will be a relaxing time for me and a time to replenish rethink and re-strategize while thinking of new ways to make money I have a few things in the works but I’m going to continue to look for new ways to add to those things to bring in new streams of income. While still working on my weight and working on my house. 
This rain is relentless it makes the day seem really dreary but it is much needed I just hate having to go out in it because it’s so uncomfortable and I have to jump in the shower a lot in order to keep myself calm and comfortable it’s a real pain happy Friday everyone.
The struggle is now not forever 